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On Indecisiveness by Haridas Chaudhuri Talk about it:
Just as one extreme, there are people who are in the habit of making hasty decisions, at the other extreme there are people who seem to suffer from chronic indecision. They are perpetually sitting on the fence. They just cannot muster sufficient strength to commit themselves to any definite line of action. They are perpetually vacillating or floating on clouds of endless possibility. The prospect of landing upon the terra firma of the actual scares them to death. This mental condition of indecision is often occasioned by unresolved inner conflicts. Some people can never make up their minds whether they should belong to any political party or not, whether they should belong to any religious organization or not, whether they should settle down to any particular sphere of action or not. One part of their nature is inclined toward striking their roots somewhere, having a sense of belonging somewhere. But another part of their nature rebels against all forms of self-limitation, and years to keep flying in the boundless realm of the possible. Now this and now that tendency may gain ascendancy, but never does any one of them gain a decisive victory. A happy compromise between such conflicting tendencies requires a certain degree of courage and self-understanding. Prolonged indecision may be due to an extreme fear of risk and responsibility. It is the risk of displeasing somebody or stepping upon somebody's toes. It is the risk of losing something or undergoing some hardship. And since most of our decisions and actions are likely to affect some fellow being directly or indirectly, they bring on a sense of responsibility. Those who are emotionally immature and weak in character shudder to take risks and assume responsibility. They are afraid of displeasing anybody. They recoil from the prospect of discomfort and hardship. But life is not always a bed of roses. Even when it is a bed of roses, sharp thorns go along with them. Life often challenges us to a choice between equally unpleasant alternatives. When we accept the challenge, whatever we do is bound to involve risk, rigor, and responsibility. If we run away from the challenge, we lose the opportunity for growth. In shirking responsibility we may follow the line of least resistance, but we commit psychological and spiritual suicide. The state of indecision may also be due to the absence of any deciding principle or criterion in our mental equipment. Intelligent decision implies a determinate principle. The psychological root of all deciding principles is one's self-image or sense of identification. In early childhood the groundwork for one's self-identification is laid. A child unconsciously identifies himself wither with the father, or with the mother, or with both. If he identifies himself with the father, the ideas, beliefs, and emotional attitudes of the father are unconsciously absorbed. A masculine self-image is thus in the making. If he identifies himself with the mother, the ideals, beliefs, and emotional attitudes of the mother are unconsciously absorbed, and a feminine self-image develops. If he identifies himself with both parents, a composite self-image is in the making. In accordance with varying measures of nearness to, and admiration for, the distinctive personalities of the parents, a child's self-image incorporates within itself, in a certain constellation, both masculine and feminine characteristics. But under certain circumstances a child may be left without the opportunity of identifying himself with either one of the parents. This happens especially when the parents use the child in their frequent bickering with one another. They bestow favors or frowns upon the child quite arbitrarily. They punish or reward the child arbitrarily, that is, not in accordance with the quality and conduct of the child, but in accordance with the changing emotional needs and conflicts of their own lives. In a situation like this, the child becomes extremely confused, both emotionally and ideologically. He is left hanging in the air without any feeling of self-identification. He cannot develop any clear sense of values. He hardly knows where he stands or what he should do. No clear self-image nourished by higher values has a chance of growing within him. He is deprived of a clear sense of identity. He does not seem to know who he is. As a result, he lacks the basis upon which to make any clear-cut decisions in life. Various Principles of Decision The foregoing discussion brings us to the question of different principles of decision. Lack of self-identification in early childhood induces the state of indecision. On the contrary, pronounced self-identification generates various deciding principles. Some of these principles may be very inadequate and superficial. Adoption of such principles naturally cannot be conducive to the mature growth of personality. Fortunate is the individual who grows up with a sound and adequate principle of decision gradually taking shape within him. A sound principle of decision is the greatest asset of personality. It is the ultimate source of abiding happiness and authentic self-fulfillment. The principle of pleasure, the principle of perfection, the principle of authority, the principle of non-limitation - these are all more or less inadequate and imperfect criteria. A brief consideration of such principles will be in order before we proceed to outline the most adequate deciding principle. The principle which is most commonly used as the basis of decision is the pleasure principle. This means that the universal natural tendency is to choose that which is most pleasurable, and to avoid that which is unpleasant an disagreeable. For instance, people are usually inclined to choose foods which are most palatable, such as fancy desserts, creams or sweet-meats. But an intelligent person soon learns that the pleasant is not always the best. Items of food chosen mainly on the ground of their pleasure value may prove ruinous to health by producing obesity and by depriving the person of such essential ingredients of health as vitamins, minerals, and proteins. In the best interest of health, strength, and longevity, one may find it reasonable to acquire a taste for such initially less pleasurable things as vegetables, salads, and whole wheat bread. A variation of the pleasure principle is the desire not to displease anybody - an eagerness to please everybody. This is neither possible nor desirable . . . In making our decisions, then, we cannot be guided by what "they think" or what "everybody thinks." What everybody thinks is the way of indecision, because it is a mass of self-contradictory opinion. So the basis for decision has to be sought elsewhere. Another impractical and inadequate principle of decision is that of absolute perfection. Some bright scholars remain barren all their lives because of their commitment to perfection. When they wish to write a book, it must be flawlessly perfect. They withhold their decision to write or express themselves until the glorious moment of perfect creation arrives. So all their lives they pursue the ever-receding goal of perfection. The greater the emphasis upon perfection, the further it recedes. The supreme moment never arrives. So the perfect book is never written. In the same way there are some choosy people who never get married. They aim at the perfect life mate. he or she must fulfill all the requirements of the image of perfection in their minds. But in the actual world such a perfect embodiment is hardly to be met with. So the decision for united living is continuously postponed until all possibility of adjustment between the image and the reality is completely lost. In the same way there are some fine, idealistic souls who continually postpone their decision for social action until inward perfection or complete God-realization is achieved. In their pursuit of inward perfection they more and more withdraw from society. They justify this withdrawal in the hope of return to society on a perfect basis. But since absolute perfection in any direction is an ever-receding goal, all chances may gradually be lost for the perfectionist to brig himself back to active participation in social evolution. Closely allied to the principle of perfection is the principle of non-limitation or unrestricted freedom. There are some who regard non-limitation or absolute freedom as the rule of living. They hate to do anything which will in any way limit them. In social affairs they advocate the principle of anarchy. In personal life they emphasize the motto of nonconformity. Submission to any law is curtailment of liberty. Commitment to any specific line of action or any determinate scale of values is a fall from the heaven of boundless possibility. So in accepting the principle of unrestricted freedom, they fail to make any decision in the sphere of action. They prefer to float indecisively upon the sea of endless possibility. Their interminable indecision in actual life is grounded in their fascination for the limitless. In the absence of any determinate action, all possibilities are divested of any chance of actual fulfillment. So the principle of unrestricted freedom eventually drives one into the nothingness of empty imagination. Essential Factors In Decision-Making We are now in a position to identify the essential factors involved in sound and adequate decision. It may be briefly stated that the self-as-related-to-Being is the most valid ground of all fruitful decision. The essential factors in decision-making are:
(LiveReal Editor's Note: The German philosopher Leibniz says that before the creation of the world, endless possibilities of combination of monads - that is, the spiritual atoms which are the ultimate constituents of the universe - hovered before the mind of God. God contemplated such endless possibilities and selected from them one specific combination as the best of them all. What was His ground of selection? The principle of goodness, which is the essence of His being. That is why the actual world in which we live is the best of all possible worlds, all its inherent deficiencies and imperfections notwithstanding. God's creative energy transformed the selected combination of monads into the realm of actuality. But what is the principle of goodness that determined God's decision at the moment of creation? The principle of goodness is one with the very self - the inmost essence of God. God is absolute goodness. Divine goodness does not consist in conformity to any external standard or law, because there is no law or standard outside of God. So God's selection or decision is not an arbitrary or whimsical one. But is there any way of further specifying the essence of divine goodness, especially insofar as it functions as the criterion of decision? Religiously speaking, divine goodness is identical with the spirit of love. God decides out of the fullness of love for all concerned. In the motivation of love, one's deepest delight consists in insuring the maximum welfare of all, individually and collectively. This is so because in love the All of existence is felt as inseparably one with the self. Love is the unity of self-interest and other-interest. It is the indivisibly unity of egoism and altruism. From the human standpoint, egoism and altruism are felt as separate impulses, because the self and the other are experienced as discontinuous. This is man's ignorance (avidya). On the basis of ignorance, love appears as the sacrifice of the self for the sake of the other; goodness appears as the restraining of the self in consideration of the other. But from the standpoint of wisdom, the real is the undivided unity of the self and the other. So love is active interest in the cosmic good. Philosophically speaking, divine goodness is rooted in the ontological structure of God. Divinity is the attribute of the self-as-related-to-Being. So the self-Being (atman-Brahman) is the is the standard of all good decision. The self does not exist as an isolated, self absorbed entity. So there is no goodness in the arbitrary decision of a self-absorbed individual. Similarly, there is no Being, no All of existence, apart from the self as the center of action. So goodness cannot result from the abstract consideration of the All of existence or from unthinking conformity to the overwhelming power of Being. Authentic awareness of the self is the awareness of the self-as-related-to-Being. It is the awareness of the identity of the All of existence with the individuals self. The spirit of goodness and love flows from such authentic self-awareness and serves as the stable basis for the most fruitful decisions in life. A bright young boy has just entered college. He is vaguely aware of many talents lying dormant within him. He can become a great poet or a musician if he wants to. He can become a great scientist if he applies himself in that direction. There is no reason why he cannot also become a successful politician or moral reformer or dynamic spiritual leader, and so on and so forth. For some time he becomes intensely interested in poetry and music and studies whatever relevant books he can lay his hands upon. But after a while his interest and enthusiasm in these field evaporate. He now becomes tremendously interested in religion and philosophy. He spends days and nights in studying and discussing philosophical and religious issues. But after a while this interest also evaporates. He now turns his attention to such subjects as economics and politics. For a while he is all excited about this new-found interest. But unfortunately this also does not last very long. Other neglected things enchant him from a distance. Our young friend thus goes on floating upon the sea of endless, fascinating possibilities. He seems incapable of limiting himself to a well-chosen course. He is enchanted by the limitless. But indecisive floating among possibilities leaves him nowhere. It makes him a jack-of-all-trades, but master of none. It involves a tragic waste of talent. A sense of self-dissipation and frustration eventually assails his mind. Even the omnipotent God had to make a selection from boundless possibilities in order to create. Similarly an individual, however talented and brilliant, must make an intelligent selection from the numerous possibilities of his nature, in order to be successful and fruitful in life. He has to make a realistic estimate of the various dynamic potentialities of his nature. On that basis he has to decide what should be his main career in life - art, science, statecraft, religion, or social reform. His other strong interests can be organized around his central purpose of life as side occupations or hobbies. If for example he decides to be predominantly a scientist, his interest in sports or poetry or politics may be retained as leisure-time pursuits. Now if he decides to become predominantly a scientist, this decision must flow from his own self. He makes this decision not because of his father or his teacher, but because of his own predominant interest and talent. He feels that it is as a scientist that he can be most true to himself and bring out the best within himself. But he does not exist only for himself. He belongs to a family to a community, to a country, to the human race. In the ultimate analysis, he belongs to a cosmic order of things. Whatever decision he makes in life affects other people and is therefore bound to react upon him. It is as related to the cosmic whole that he lives and functions. So his decision to be a scientist must also involve the decision to offer his services as a scientist for the good of humanity. In deciding to develop the best within oneself, one has also to decide to give one's best for the cosmic good, the maximum welfare of all, including himself and others. Thus the spirit of love as the principle of the self-as-related-to-Being becomes the guiding principle of mature decision. In deciding to be a scientist and to serve humanity as a scientist, one has to sacrifice other possibilities. One has to endure hardship and be painstaking. One must expect to encounter criticism and opposition. One has to take risks and assume responsibilities. Squarely faced and boldly accepted, they all contribute to strength of character and nobility of personality. They all contribute to the profound joy of creative self-expression. Besides such major decisions as those related to marriage, career, social service, or religious commitment, we all have to make many minor decisions in life. New situations constantly arise, calling upon us to make decisions afresh. A long-time friend is secretly thwarting my interests. Should I expose him at the risk of open hostility. A sworn enemy is willing to come to terms. Should I agree to enter into a business transaction with him? In dealing with a dangerous burglar or kidnapper, should I be ready to kill him if necessary? In dealing with such emergent situations there is no magic formula which can be blindly applied in all circumstances. Every situation has to be carefully considered in its concrete fullness. When time permits, well-wishers and trustworthy authorities can be consulted. But finally a decision has always to be made in the depths of one's own being. The habit of sleeping over a crucial matter or that of retiring into the silence of mature deliberation is an invaluable asset. The ultimate deciding factor should be neither extreme egoism nor abstract altruism. Extreme egoism is self-defeating. Abstract altruism is self-frustrating and self-annihilating. The golden principle of decision in all cases is the self-as-related-to-Being (atman-Brahman). It is active awareness of the self as a component of the cosmic whole and as a creative source of cosmic good. It is awareness of the self as a unique center of action of Being. What do you think?
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