The Dating Game

The Dating Game

And The Rules of the Game

"If you have tears,
prepare to shed them now."
- William Shakespeare

If we were to break down the "dating game" to its most basic and fundamental elements . . . what would they look like?

Here is one experienced bartender's view . . .

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The Arena	Any bar, disco, nightclub, party, or social gathering where men and women meet.
The Players	Men on one side, women on the other.
The Weapons: Men	money, drugs, booze, clothes, car, a pace to bring her so you can both be alone (also known as an apartment, house, or "condo"), jewelry, cologne, credit cards. Optional accessory weapons: hair pieces, elevator shoes, fake chest hair.
The Weapons: Women	makeup, perfume, hairstyle, clothes, wigs, jewelry, car, rape whistle, credit cards, purse, mace. Optional accessory weapons: padded bra, girdle, elevator shoes (also boob jobs).
The Objective: Men	1) To get his penis into the woman's vagina as fast as possible; 2) to spend as little money as possible.
The Objective: Women	1) To keep the man's penis out of her vagina for as long as possible (and if the woman can keep his penis out of her vagina until there's a ring on her finger, she's the undisputed winner); 2) To make him pay, pay, pay.
The Rules	There are no rules.
Length of Game	Usually five hours, tops.
The Spectators	Everyone in the room. Spectators can become contestants at any moment.

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