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Anthony Robbins Talk about it:
Anthony Robbins - the guru of infomercials, the king of the modern human potential movement, the multimillionaire master of self-help (umm, and firewalker, too . . . did we leave anything out?) is someone we felt we must include when examining the influential figures in modern relationships. After all, his "Personal Power" audio program, for the low, low price of only $199.95 or so has helped millions of people break through walls, unleash their inner giants, and walk on fire. And much, much more. Sorry, we're not trying to be too ironic here. Tony Robbins genuinely seems like a good guy, and does seem to have helped lots of people. While he might not have the ultimate, absolute, final word on understanding relationships - and while it might not exactly be worth $199.95 (send that to us, please) - he definitely has a story worth telling.
Brief Biography Anthony Robbins is a Horatio Alger, inner-rags to outer-riches story of self-help world. A fire-walk trainer and positive-thinking guru, "He'd like to convince you that you have 'unlimited power.'" He studied Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) - something the stuffy academics still, to this day say is a bunch of B.S., even though it has made Robbins millions and millions and millions of dollars - eventually becoming the #1 speaker of his kind in the world. There is obviously a great deal to respect in Mr. Robbins, and the fact that he was divorced should neither be made too big a deal of nor ignored. His current message, along with a generous helping of slick marketing, an immense PR machine, multimedia (some say "Hitleresque") stadium speeches, essentially boils down to the modern school of "Brief Therapy" (similar to Dr. Phil, Michele Weiner-Davis, and others), NLP (otherwise known as "the school of human manipulation") and good, old fashioned hypnosis. That said, if you're not against a bit of mind-screwing, he might just do you some good.
Strengths Robbins is a human potential pioneer with many imitators, is obviously a very good communicator, and a serious fireball of energy. Again, he truly seems to be sincere and earnest in his efforts to reach and help people, and he does seem to practice what he preaches.
"Challenges" Let's see . . . how can we say this in Robbinspeak . . . "What are some ways can Mr. Robbins' message be improved even more?" Robbins sometimes suffers the same problem as all "motivational" types: he is very, very good at inspiring people, summoning up a great deal of hype and energy, and overall getting folks very jazzed up and excited. But after the seminar is over, the "30 days!!" have come and gone, the tapes have been silent for a few weeks . . . we find things growing silent and still . . . and eventually, more often than not, returning back to their old ways. Did it change my life forever? Did it really awaken my inner giant? Have I unleashed my personal power? Well, if Tony were right here, he would probably be ramming it down my throat: "Yes, of course it changed your life forever! You are very different than what you would have been, had you not gotten my tapes!" Maybe so. It's pretty hard to argue with, seeing as there's no alternate universe to offer as evidence. But did those 30 days change my life forever, in the way I was hoping it would? Umm, honestly . . . maybe not. They say that inspiration is like tissue paper, it burns very bright and very fast, and before long is gone, and you're on your own once again.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming A National Academy of Sciences task force examined NLP and concluded that, essentially, it "makes no scientific sense" and "there is little or no empirical evidence to date to support either NLP assumptions or NLP effectiveness." Yet this is a typical situation, where academics who rarely seem to leave the campus criticize, dismiss, and snub something (in this case, NLP) . . . meanwhile . . . individuals and corporations in the private market use that exact same "bogus" stuff to make millions and millions and more millions. Though academics have declared it "unscientific" or unproven, the fault may lie in the approach of the academics, and not in the movement itself. In terms of relationships, the NLP-business gets a little more hairy. The important part is not to turn yourself into a "peak performer" of relationships; as much as many $249-weekend seminar-givers may insist, we cannot hypnotize or condition each other like Pavlov's dogs into successful relationships. In our opinion, rather than programming ourselves to behave and think and feel in certain ways, we must go in exactly the opposite direction - we must act to get free of our programming. The goal is not a new set of programming ourselves to act and feel in new ways . . . but rather a method for de-programming, to act not from programming or conditioning but from "our core." (This is a core message, for example, of Roy Masters, Cheri Huber, Harville Hendrix, and others) Robbins also ignores many messages that are vital when examining modern relationships: how men and women are different, how a spiritual perspective or core mission helps bond a couple together, how many modern trends have affected the dynamics of marriage and relationships, and so on.
Underlying Philosophy Mr. Robbins' unspoken philosophical position is a popular one nowadays, especially for salesmen: "truth" is not something to be discovered, it is something to be created. Truth is something that is manufactured. According to this type of postmodernist view, there is no objective reality "out there," there is only what we perceive, and what we can trick ourselves into perceiving (this often involved perceiving the value of handing a good amount of money over to the folks who are talking to you about this). Because we don't seem to know the answers to big questions, the best we can do is make up answers that make us feel good or empowered or successful or rich. This philosophy of "we create our own reality," is a very, very handy belief to have in the business of PR, sales, and politics - everything can be spun, and there's no reality that needs to be faced. There's my reality and your reality, and the truth is that there's no truth. But then again, whose truth are we talking about, your truth or my truth? Of course, all this leads to a deeper question: is there ultimate, objective truth, or is everything subjective and relative? This is what many say is the central debate of the modern world, which is largely divided into two camps, the Absolutists, who say there is some kind of real, objective truth . . . and the Relativists, who say there's not. (and then, there's that small group of folks way over there, who say it's all not that simple). This can get incredibly confusing and perplexing (not to mention frustrating and nearly impossible to argue with, even when dealing with absurdities). But in our reality (which happens to be the real reality) . . . if you say everything is relative, and I say there is absolute truth; you say that I am wrong, and that you are right. So everybody is not right; some people are wrong. So, you've contradicted yourself. So I am right.
Robbins' Message on Relationships In essence, Robbins' message on relationships is that we must learn each others proper "love languages" - learn how we can communicate love to one another, so that each partner in a relationship feels loved all the time. As if that were possible. The underlying message of Robbins' approach can seem coldly mechanical: "love" is an emotional state; emotional states can be analyzed, in a reductionistic manner, down into their component parts; if one is able to reassemble and recreate those component parts, then one is able to recreate "love" at will. However successful this might sound in theory, it doesn't work, partly because of the definition of "love" as merely an emotional, manipulatable state, is wrong . . . and further because defining humans as puppets where we are able to pull the strings (even if they are "love strings") to make each other feel what we want . . . is not the final word on human nature. But then again, that's just my reality . . .
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