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Dr. Phil a.k.a. Phil McGraw Talk about it: Books:
Summary: A psychologist who actually has common sense and is a straight-shooter? We're in. While the good Dr. Phil isn't exactly laying out the unified field theory of physics - and he might be a little heavy-handed at times - his message is practical and useful enough to be helpful to folks who are just a little screwed up.
"Dr. Phil," a.k.a. Phil McGraw is probably one of the most famous thinkers featured in this arena . . . and definitely one of the the most famous psychologists alive today. This, of course, is largely due to the work of one of the most famous women in the world . . . one of the only women in the known universe to have practically owned her own letter of the alphabet. To give you a hint . . . it starts with an "O". "Dr. Phil," shortly after becoming a therapist and realizing how lousy it was to listen to peoples' problems all day long . . . initially got his boost to fame through helping Oprah when she was being sued by some folks in the cattle business. And now he's an expert on human relationships. Most of what has needed to be said about Dr. Phil has already been said. He has been called everything from a "genius" to a "drawling loon". Is there really anything we can add? Well, maybe a little. In our humble opinion, the key ingredients to the success of Dr. Phil - aside from his talent for working the media and his connection to Oprah - is that he is something that is extremely rare: a psychologist who is 1) halfway sane with 2) common sense and who is 3) a straight-shooter. Again, In our opinion, most psychologists/psychiatrists, when you really scratch beneath the surface, have none of the above qualities; the vast majority have one; only a few have two, and the very, very rare bird has all three. Put these three highly combustible ingredients together . . . add the spark of Oprah . . . and you've got a multimillionaire shrink with his own talk show who drives a Ferrari. There is a great deal that is praiseworthy in Dr. Phil. After all, it's pretty difficult to become a psychologist and to stay sane. And his slogan - "Get Real" - could have been lifted off of our very own web page. His message - that you need to wake up and get off your butt, that you have to work on yourself first, that real inner change often comes from taking a good, hard, honest look at yourself - is a straight echo of words that are very dear to our hearts (although, to be precise, in certain relationships, this "examine yourself" approach can sometimes be taken too far). In this age of spin and hype, anyone even attempting to put out a "tell it like it is approach" is one that actually makes us swell with pride. But still . . . is he all he's cracked up to be? Or is he, as some claim, "overrated"? And why isn't he one of LiveReal's select few? The essential approach of Phil's format is some variation of this: Client: "I'm irrational." He's telling irrational people to be rational. Ummm . . . yeah. But why does this work - or at least, seem to work on t.v.? Is Dr. Phil a wizard? In psychology graduate school, do they teach regular mortals how to become mind-reading, soul-saving wizards? If that's the case, why is there only one Dr. Phil? If this isn't necessarily the case, then why does Dr. Phil seem to be so successful with people? In our opinion, one major man-behind-the-curtain factor is that, among many other things, Dr. Phil is 1) an authority figure who is 2) giving his advice on national television in front of 3) millions of people in the audience. In other words, he has a little more leverage than your average counselor down the street, or your best buddy that you pour your heart out to every so often. After all, many times, people know what their problems are . . . and either they, or those individuals close to them, know what they need to do or what should be done. And they even say it - and probably pretty often do say it (is there any friend of yours who, if they were cornered, wouldn't have a mountain of advice for you on how to run your life?) - and probably even say it using the exact same words that Dr. Phil uses. But there is a big difference in, say, your wife telling you that you shouldn't flirt with other women . . . and Dr. Phil saying it in front of millions of people. Public humiliation is a powerful weapon, and when your name and legacy are being put on the line . . . well, you tend to listen a little better. Hence, the magic ingredient isn't necessarily some sixth-sense of psychological x-ray-vision that Phil somehow mysteriously wields. Instead, it is primarily the leverage he brings to his advice through being a celebrity. Another issue lies with the contradictory nature of the "advice" that is inherent in the formula: Client: "I'm irrational." . . . after all, Phil is telling an irrational person to act rationally . . . as if that was a choice they could make through sheer willpower. (This is also another issue with Aaron Beck, another popular psychologist with the same problem). But isn't the problem that the client is not in control of themselves, at least in a certain area, to start with? This could lead to a great deal of further discussion, but for now, we'll leave it at this: more often than not, in the real world outside of the t.v. studio, telling an irrational, illogical person to act rationally and logically . . . well, is not necessarily the most effective (or rational? or logical?) strategy. This type of "Well, I'm sane - why aren't you? I'm not in any pain . . . why are you?" approach is also evident in his books, where the demands he makes on his readers are not only huge, but eventually, in most cases, unrealistic. As one reviewer states:
(Note: In the worldview of David Deida, this type of exercise is prototypical of a "first stage" relationship working to graduate up to a "second stage" relationship. (And if one is interested, one can keep on growing to the much more exciting "third stage" . . .)) In addition . . . although this may sound a little harsh-yet-true . . . it's no secret that, while he is helping many individuals overcome many personal problems . . . on the other hand, he isn't exactly pushing the boundaries of human potential. Freud said that "much will be gained if [psychoanalysis] can succeed in transforming hysterical misery into common unhappiness." Dr. Phil often helps folks do just that. In other words, many of the guests on Dr. Phil's show are generally individuals with obvious, in-your-face problems (one of the least of which may well be an unhesitating willingness to publicly embarrass oneself on national television). And if you see someone with an obvious problem . . . well, it isn't too hard to point out what is wrong with a person and tell them how to do it right (just notice how many armchair quarterbacks there are on Sunday afternoons. We include ourselves in this). In other words, Phil is primarily - like most in the area of psychology - in the business of taking individuals with issues that are "below average" and raising them up to what is considered to be "average" - in other words, taking folks who are in some way "below par" and bringing them back up to, as Freud would say, the ordinary level of human suffering. This, of course, is not a problem at all . . . except that another area that can be even more interesting, and is completely neglected in mainstream psychology, is taking individuals to are "average" or "normal" and making them . . . exceptional. And finally, as Phil readily admits, most of what he gives is a short-term shot which serves as a wake-up call. The real work - and the harder part of it - happens offstage. So overall, definitely check out the Dr. Phil show, and if his books - such as Relationship Rescue are to your taste, you can definitely do worse (although, on a feature-by-feature comparison, Michele Weiner-Davis's approach tends to run a little smoother). And heck, if you get stuck with a problem you can't seem to lick, we may know of a way that you can get some one-on-one help from a Ferrari-driving psychologist . . . and on national t.v. too . . .
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