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Melodie Beattie
Talk about it: Codependent
No More: Beyond Codependency and the sequel
Codependent No More was on the New York Times best-seller list for 115 weeks and has sold over four million copes. While she is obviously striking a nerve with a huge number of people, many mental health professionals (click here) are less than enthusiastic about it. Beyond Codependency elaborates on the message introduced in the first book - "the behavior patterns of codependency" and addresses the process of a healthy recovery, (falling into old bad habits during the process of recovery and using positive affirmations). If this sounds suspiciously like someone trying to kick alcohol through Twelve-Step meetings . . . well, it is. "Codependency" is a term that was born just a few decades ago that describes "an unhealthy tendency to put others needs before your own," usually involving a person who is addicted to something such as alcohol, drugs, or sex. Codependency is about being "addicted to a certain type of relationship" and how to recover from it. In this scenario, the "codependent" isn't the addict, but the individual who is emotionally involved with an addict (to alcohol, drugs, sex, work, food, or shopping) - often a spouse or family member. Several other authors, such as Pia Melody, Susan Forward, Harriet Lerner, Robin Norwood, and others also speak a great deal about various forms of codependency. Harville Hendrix, in addition, goes into a significant amount of detail in regards to understanding more specifically how childhood experiences affect relationships. And for a more critical analysis of the movement that essentially asks "Is Codependency Real? Click HERE. In our opinion, codependency - characterized as it is by addiction, childhood experiences, various forms of social and emotional intimidation, bullying, dependency, and all the other hundreds of major and minor factors involved - is simply best addressed by Roy Masters. Although he rarely actually uses the word "codependent," he seems to have the best grasp on the complexities of the problem as well as the most direct route to overcoming it as any other other we have come across. One additional note we will make, in addition to what has already been said about the hazards of therapy and recovery in other articles: in the thought of David Deida, "Recovering from Codependency,"means moving from (using Deida's terminology) "Stage One" to "Stage Two." To "keep going," in a sense, means moving from "Stage Two" to what he defines as "Stage Three." Talk about it:
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