Talk about it:
Your trusty LiveReal Editors, some time ago, became
very interested in understanding successful relationships.
We came to find that this would mean understanding
what makes relationships go wrong . . . what makes them work . .
. what is the purpose of relationships . . . what are the underlying
forces that drive them . . .
In other words, we soon found ourselves in way,
way over our heads.
But, being the valiant, heroic, incredibly good-looking
(ahem, ok . . . make that "well-meaning") kind of folks
we are - or at least that we'd like to be - we persevered, on and
on, against all odds.
So, what have we found so far?
Well, unfortunately, there is nothing we can package
and sell as a pill. And no magic six, eight, or seventeen steps
to follow that promise to solve all relationship problems from here
to eternity. So, your dutiful LiveReal Editors are in no danger
of becoming rich anytime soon.
However, we definitely did come across some pretty
interesting nuggets . . .
How do you avoid "The Typical Cycle?"
- Learn, learn, learn about Relationships. Would you start out on a journey - probably the most important journey of your life - with no map, no compass, and no clear destination, armed only with a vague hope that things will go well?
Well, this is exactly how many people approach marriage . . .
- Relationships 101: There is no substitute for old-fashioned common sense. Having affairs causes problems. Dating people who are married causes problems. Threesomes cause problems. It's a matter of just being a little intelligent, if that's not too much to ask . . .
- It seems to us that many problems in relationships cannot really be "solved" . . . but they can be prevented. So preventing problems from coming up in the first place is one of he most important things you can do . . .
- Having the right expectations: Understanding that Relationships Aren't "IT"
- Understanding the Modern Dating Scene and all the difficulties that come along with it . . .
- Learn the basics of how to protect your mind and heart from what certain others would like to do to you . . .
- While perfect mental and emotional health isn't necessarily a requirement for a successful relationships - if it were, we'd be in a lot of trouble - it definitely can help.
- Real relationships require a certain amount of character.
- Understanding the real basis of attraction can also help us understand why it sometimes dissolves.
- Relationships can also be stressfull; so learning how to deal with stress can help.
- Checking out the best that science has to offer on successful relationships can help as well.
- Avoiding the wrong kind of marital therapy can also be a good idea
- Avoiding the wrong self-help books can be a huge help, along with reading some good ones. (sssshhh . . . secret link here)
- Sex is a major factor that has the power to make or break relationships (although your average human spends less than four seconds of their life trying to actually understand it . . .)
- Avoiding the typical "Adam and Eve" pattern or archetype . . .
- Understanding how "love" relationships typically turn into "love-hate" relationships . . .
- Committing yourself to the practice of developing your "Presence" and "Radiance . . .
- Relationships are really a piece of the puzzle in the "big picture" of our lives . . . so having a more clear idea about the big picture of our lives can definitely play a crucial role in our relationships as well.
- Relationships are supposed to be all about love. But what is "love"? Understanding more about it, along with being able to put it into practice, can definitely help.
- Check out the LiveReal Relationship Arena Products.
- Talk to other people who are trying to avoid The Typical Cycle too in the LiveReal Discussion Board.
to your ever-trusty
"To unite your physical existences and your material interests,
to associate yourselves so as to face together the difficulties
the defeats and victories of life - this is the very basis of marriage
but you know already that it does not suffice.
To be united in feelings,
to have the same tastes and same aesthetic pleasures,
to vibrate together in a common response to the same things,
one by the other and one for the other
- it is good, it is necessary
- but it is not enough.
To be one in profound sentiments,
your affection, your feelings of tenderness for each other
not varying in spite of all the shocks of existence;
withstanding weariness, nervous irritations and disappointments,
to be always and in every case happy, most happy to be together;
to find, under all circumstances, one in the presence of the other,
rest, peace and joy
- it is good, it is very good, it is indispensable
- but it is not enough.
To unite your mentalities,
your thoughts harmonizing and becoming complementary to each other,
your intellectual preoccupations and discoveries shared between
in a word, to make your spheres of mental activity identical
through a broadening and an enrichment acquired by the two at the
- it is good, it is absolutely necessary
- but it is not enough.
Beyond it all, at
the bottom, at the centre, at the summit of the being,
there is the Supreme Truth of the being, an Eternal Light,
independent of all circumstances
of birth, of country, of environment, of education;
the origin, cause and master of our spiritual development
- it is That that
gives a definite orientation to our existence;
it is That that decides our destiny;
it is in the consciousness of this that you should unite.
To be one in aspiration and ascension,
to advance with the same step on the spiritual path
- such is the secret of a durable union."
- Sri Aurobindo