Where Questions that are Frequently Asked, are asked.
Setting: A delicate, musky evening.
The cool mist draped itself languidly over the dusty diner windows
and hung delicately in the evening.
The questions frequently asked, are asked.
Q: Are you frequently asked questions?
Q: OK. So are you affiliated with a particular group, sect, leader, or organization?
Q: Are you affiliated with anything like Scientology, EST, Tony Robbins, Inc, or various self-help cults? Or Oprah?
Q: Are you primarily promoting any particular group, sect, leader, or organization?
Q: Are you affiliated with Dr. Phil, Oprah, Deepak Chopra, The Celestine Prophecy, or the Men-are-from-Mars-Women-are-from-Venus empire?
Q: OK. Let's settle this once and for all: for LiveReal, is it "live" that rhymes with "jive," or is it "live" that rhymes with "give"?
A: It's "live" that rhymes with "give."
Q: So, for your products - like the Addiction Arena and all - do they really work?
A: Well, one of our mottos is "see for yourself."
Q: Are you "New Age"?
Q: Are you secretly some huge multinational congromerate organization that's after peoples' money?
Q: Do you watch "The Simpsons"?
Q: Are you anti-denominational?
Q: Are you against organized religion?
Q: Are you part of the vast, sinister New World Order conspiracy?
Q: Are you, like, very talkative?
Q: Do you consider yourselves to be "enlightened"?
A: (strange look) . . . You're joking, right?
A: HA . . . haha . . . you don't know us very well.
Q: Umm, no.
A: Ha!! Haha . . . aha. . aahh . . . OK, that's what we call a "No." We definitely don't consider ourselves to be "enlightened."
Q: Here's a tough one: how do you change a password?
A: I can handle that. To change your password,
Q: So, for your products, do you consider them to actually be the best products available anywhere, that are applicable for all people, at all times, under all conditions, for all eternity, incapable of being misunderstood, misinterpreted, or misused?
A: No. It's like that Churchill quote about democracy - the worst form of government, except for all the others. The products we recommend aren't "perfect" at all...but still, they're the closest and best things we've found so far. Compared to the other stuff we've come across. Until we find better ones. And we're always looking for those.
Q: For products or materials or people you "endorse," do you necessarily agree with every single word they say, and every single position they stand for?
Q: Are you anti-television, or anti-big-business, or anti-psychology or something?
Q: OK, do you promote cults?
A: No, it's actually the opposite. Cults tell you what to think. We're trying to get folks to think.
Q: What do you say to folks who say . . . they just don't really get what you're about? "What is LiveReal? I don't get it."
A: Our job would be so much easier if we were just selling hamburgers or something, because folks understand that pretty easily. If we were a site dedicated to gossiping about which celebrity was in some other celebrity's pants, folks would probably get that pretty easily, and nobody would have a problem. And we'd probably make a lot more money. But it seems that with so many folks' instant-gratification, media-numbed, take-a-pill-for-it, fast-food mentality nowadays, if something doesn't blatantly fit into a preconceived, shrink-wrapped box that knocks you between the eyes with a two-by-four, people say they "don't get it." I guess they're waiting for us to say "Oh - we sell hamburgers". But we don't. The whole story would take a while to tell, but the closest thing to it is that we're a content site.
We're actually trying to be as clear as we can about the whole thing. But it's a tough job. "It's not just a web site, it's a way of life." "The search for intimacy, sanity, vitality, Reality." It's about your body, mind, heart, soul. "A headquarters for seekers." "Boot camp for the soul." "A workout for your mind." And so on. There's no catch, no trick, no "gotcha," nothing up our sleeves. We're just trying to do the put-one-foot-in-front-of-the-other work involved in knowing yourself and not wasting our lives and hanging out with folks who are interested in interesting things.
At the same time, we are aware that we're thinking about and digging into this stuff 24/7/12/365, and most other folks aren't, and we've have been at it for some years now, and most other folks haven't been. So we'll understand that we probably need to switch to decaf when it comes to this, if other folks will understand that we're peddling as fast as we can.
A: No, thank you!
Q: No, thank you!!
A: No, thank YOU!!!!
Q: Seriously, thank you.
A: I am serious. And thank you very much.